Most Boring School Aged Books (my personal list of hatred and loathing)

In the spirit of keeping up with "what the people want," I'm going to further my posts from recent days in which I threw down on such classic books as Little House on the Prairie and To Kill A Mockingbird. Today I wanted to head off in a little bit more of a personal opinion direction, and discuss books that are boring (I don't even really want to get into the relevance or politically correctness of these books).

I'm focusing on literature, so no text books, because that literally would compose my entire list. Keep in mind, this is personal, and if you disagree, please, join in on the conversation, I'm having fun with this, and I experienced a lot of these in high school, when I was slightly less agreeable than I am today. My list consists of books from my own personal experience, meaning books that I have personally read or attempted to read but didn't finish (which was quite common of me in high school). I'm going to do a top 10 here. So here we go (I'm probably going to pay dearly for some of the books on this list, but bring it on):

THE TOP 10 MOST BORING SCHOOL AGED BOOKS, in no particular order (ages 8-18)

The Lord of the Flies, by William Golding - Yeah, the part when Piggy fell off of the cliff and his brains fell out was pretty awesome when I was 16, but this book dragged like a two-legged-dog (OK, wow, that is the worst analogy of all time). At the time, I wasn't ready to appreciate the microcosm for society at large that this book displayed, and now that I am old enough to appreciate it, I don't.

Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë - I don't care what you say about this book, it was HORRIFICALLY BORING in every way that a book can be boring. Let me set the scene for you. Senior AP English, we're reading this book, and the entire class balked at it. We actually didn't finish it because the entire class refused. I have to say that is my great honor to have no finished this book. It may be whatever it is to you, but to me, *gag*.

Anything Shakespeare - I'm not talking about a book, I am literally talking about Shakespeare stuff. There were certain kids in class with me who profoundly enjoyed The Bard's work, but it put me to sleep. For some reason, it still does. My wife likes Shakespeare, but I can't stomach any of it, it's just a personal thing I guess. I would say that 3/4's of the words used in Shakespeare aren't even in the dictionary anymore, so that might have something to do with it.

Moby Dick , by Herman Melville- It's always a humorous title to say out loud for a young teenager. that light hearted, sick humor quickly fades by the end of chapter one. I've always thought that Moby Dick is considered great because it's one of those books that enlightened people are "supposed to like." Well, I'm enlightened now (in my own enlightened opinion), and I still can't get past "Call me Ishmael."

Little House on the Prairie, by Laura Ingalls Wilder - Uh oh, I'm returning to the scene of previous crimes against literary classics (offended by me, earlier this week, and again a few days ago). This was an elementary school read that I hated with my entire being. I hated it again when I first became a teacher and had to read a part of it out of the reading textbook. Eventually I got the guile to finally ditch the textbook altogether, and this lovely pile of boring set off my fight against textbooks, so I guess it's good for something.

The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger - If you go over to my Goodreads page, you might see 3 stars next to this book. It wasn't the worst book ever, in fact, some of the innuendo was pretty interested and funny. But the character of Holden Caufield, as a whole, came across a little hastily put together, a walking stereotype that was a little one dimensional. In my opinion, this book is not the classic many say it is, and I re-read it just about two years ago, in one sitting, and decided that it is still boring.

Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell - I had to read this book in middle school, and it still sits on my classroom shelf. I believe in giving my students some choice, and this book has been read by a few students of mine over the years, some liking it and some not. I'm more on the side of the not. I tend to have pretty demanding tastes, and the autobiography of a horse just doesn't cut mustard with me.

The Borrowers, by Mary Norton - I read this book to my class for two years, and finally decided it was time to stop. This book is inconsistent in terms of vocabulary, comes across a little slowly, and doesn't seem to hold interest anymore down here where I live and teach. I'm just speaking from experience and all that.

R.L. Stine stuff - OK, stop, don't yell. I have pretty much every R.L. Stine book ever written on the shelf in my classroom, and they are beloved by many. I'm saying that personally, I never could stand them. I actually feel like I outgrew them when I was like 10. I would get them for birthdays and Christmas, smile, say thank you, then go trade them off at the bookstore.

Leveled Readers - I'm going generic here at the last. Most elementary teachers know what leveled readers are, it's those really short books that teach a skill in isolation. The stories are usually hastily made, and the books have no real point. I guess they work sometimes for struggling students, but honestly, they're not literature.

Fahrenheit 451: A Young Adult Book Review

Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 stands as one of the masterpieces of the 20th century, and for good reason. This book, originally published in its complete form in 1953, can easily be compared to books like George Orwell's 1984, Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, the works of Ayn Rand, and, for those of you in the intermediate and middle school grade levels, Lois Lowry's The Giver. This book is so widely loved that it's an often read piece in high school, college, and by adults, who see in it parallels between the politics of book burning and dominating the lives of people and the world we live in now (similar things can also be said about the other dystopic books listed here).

Now, if you're not familiar, dystopia themed literature is about a future in which the world has gone wrong. They often closely resemble, and are sometimes even mistaken for, utopia themed books. The Giver is a book that, in the beginning seems to be a perfect world, but as the curtains are pulled back, society is actually quite appalling and horrific, making it dystopic.

Guy Montag is the protagonist of Fahrenheit 451. He's a man who holds a position of respect in society, he is a fireman. He does not fight fires, he starts them, he burns books. Imagine a fireman carrying a fire hose, but the phrases are both literal, firemen who start fires with hoses that spray fire. Guy is drawn into the world of books, and begins stealing some away. His wife, in the meantime, has become a mindless watcher of TV sitting in the TV parlor watching shows all day in which she interacts with the actors and actresses in a futuristic artificial intelligence.

Early in the book, Guy runs across Clarisse, a sharp witted, free thinking teenager who often wanders around instead of going to school. When Guy asks her why she doesn't go to school, she responds by saying (I will paraphrase this quote to include some of the more poignant parts): "Social to me means talking to you about things like this... or talking about how strange the world is... But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk... we never ask questions, or at least most don't; they just run the answers at you."

In the very same paragraph as the above listed quote, Clarisse makes a quote that can basically sum up education in this future, and, if you're cynical enough, in America. She says: "It's a lot of funnels and a lot of water poured down the spout and out the bottom, and them telling us it's wine when it's not."

This book is a timeless masterpiece that can be enjoyed by a sharp minded 15 year old, and anyone older. I recommend this book for a junior or senior level English class, and even then, only with AP students. Use it with students who will look deeper and make those parallels between the book and society, both in the 1950's and now. I also see this book as a great read in a college undergraduate English class or as part of a survey of dystopia themed or politically charged literature. It would work great alongside the other books I listed at the beginning of this article.

Must NOT Read List For Elementary School (Books That Were Once Great But Have Become Irrelevant)

Today's topic is about, as the title suggests, books that should not be read in the classroom. Now, I do have a side note on this one. I'm not just picking out horrible books, because there's many of those, too many to keep count, millions actually. This post is about books that were once great, or are still put on "must read" lists even though they're irrelevant, out of touch with today's child, or just hokie altogether at this point. So let's get to it. This could also be titled "The Great Classic Book Roast."

• Little House on the Prairie: This applies to that entire series. I realize that these books were once considered the single greatest thing ever, and many teachers still hold on to them and use them in the classroom. In fact, in the 4th grade level of the current edition of the Scott Foresman basal reader that my district uses, excerpts of Little House in the Prairie can be found. WHY IT'S TRASH: I read this book in 4th grade, and hated every second of it. That was in 1990. Add 18 years to this, and that's about how kids today for the most part feel about this book. It's from a different time, and if you're reading it for historical perspective, there are much more meaningful ways to go about that.
• Sarah, Plain and Tall: OK, this isn't really fair. Sarah, Plain and Tall and Little House on the Prairie are very similar books. This book is another outdated story that has no relevance to today's kids. WHY IT'S TRASH: See what I wrote for Little House on the Prairie, right down to the basal thing.
• To Kill A Mockingbird: Wow, I'm going to take some heat for this one, but I had to do it. The book does impart some important racial situations and big issues of Harper Lee's time. I had two copies of this book on my classroom bookshelf, and in three years it was checked out twice, neither student finished the book. I found, from talking to them, that the story actually didn't seem to make sense. WHY IT'S TRASH: Popular literary theories about reading methodology tell us that children should find cultural connections with stories for them to be meaningful. This is even more important to marginalized children (socio-economic, language, race, ethnicity, and whatever else you could add to this list). This story is a classic, and is a book that I have a lot of respect for, but it's no longer a good mainstay in the classroom, there are other books that can be read that will have more meaning in our time.
• Where the Red Fern Grows: This is another classic that put me to sleep when I was in school. It sits, to this day, untouched on my classroom shelf and in the library, where it hasn't been checked out in over 7 years (I checked). WHY IT'S TRASH: It's irrelevant, doesn't hold interest anymore, and is actually a little dated in many ways.
• Tikki Tikki Tembo: I'm going primary on this one. I actually used to read this book to pre-schoolers when that was where I taught. In those early literate stages, children enjoy rhyming books. Dr. Seuss is more appropriate than this book, which now borders on culturally inappropriate and dated. What is this 1945? WHY IT'S TRASH: All Chinese people have ridiculously long names. Yao Ming? 7 letters, end of story.

I'm going to stop this there before I start listing all of your favorite books from the past. I want to end with my theory as to why these books continue to end up on lists of teachers favorite books each year (the NEA puts out a list every year where teachers vote, and other organizations do this as well).

These books continue to stay on these lists because many teachers don't actually know of too many other books. They're teaching what they were taught, which is, if you read me and pay attention, highly inappropriate, because times are different, kids are different, and instruction should be different in order to meet those new needs in a new world. Ask teachers who do read the books that their classes read, those who have knowledge in the field, and those lists will change greatly.

**I offer a more in depth discussion of Little House on the Prairie, in response to comments from this post. Please see that post (December 3rd): Another Look at the Downfall of Once Classic Book Little House on the Prairie**

Reading To Impress

Many people read, but less than many actually read because they enjoy it. There are elitists out there, those that read to impress, and I'm not down with those people. Yes, I've tried to read a few of 'their' books, but by and large, it hasn't been a positive experience.

In 2007, the Library and Information Update did a survey and found that half of their respondents said that reading classics made one appear more intelligent, and that's why they did it. Also, more than half of the young adults, age 19-21, lied when asked to name their favorite books. The favorite books of read to impress name droppers were:

Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien
War and Peace – Tolstoy
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – John Gray
1984 – George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – J.K. Rowling
Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
The Diary of Anne Frank

That's not to say that all of these books, or any of them, are bad. It just goes to show what the common thought is on what intelligent literature is. Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite stories of all time. 1984 has consistently rated among my favorite books ever, and of course, children the world over love Harry Potter. I've also read The Da Vinci Code and loved it, and I read portions of The Diary of Anne Frank to my students every year.

The point here is that if reading becomes seen as nothing more than a task someone undertakes in order to appear smart, then it is done in vain, and serves no purpose beyond appearance, much like getting plastic surgery or something like that. As teachers and/or literary theorists, it is our job to make reading real to kids, to help them find the true value in reading, and to enjoy the process.

Please take a look at the reading survey that is tied to this post, and my personal response. I have also provided a link to the survey itself in .pdf format on that post. CLICK HERE to go to that post, which also happens to be the post immediately prior to this one.

Redefining Classic Children's Literature

One thing we are all familiar of in the world of literature are the classics. I'm sure we all read them when we were in school, and many of us probably have some of them collecting dusts on the book shelves around our homes or offices. It's one thing for adults to keep classics around and actually read them, for whatever reason, either because they actually enjoy it or because they think they're supposed to enjoy it.

These same rules do not apply to children's and young adult literature however. I am young enough (I'm in my late 20's) to remember sitting bored out of my mind in school trudging through 'classics' of children's and ya literature like Little House on the Prairie and Wuthering Heights. These are books I was supposed to read, right? They're rites of passage or something, that's all I could assume, because they certainly didn't connect with me in any way, and actually led me to despise reading for much of my K-12 experience.

Youth literature is quite unique, because many of the students are just beginning to experience literature, to test it, and to decide whether or not it is an experience they enjoy. As a teacher, it is our job to make your students become more proficient and effective readers, but it is also our job to develop a love of reading and students who are aware, on a person and metacognitive level, of what makes them a good reader, how they read, and what they enjoy.

Therefore, children's literature classics are in fact becoming largely irrelevant in the 21st century classroom. I actually had an entire boxed set of Little House sitting on my book shelf, given to me by a parent who no longer wanted them. The books sat there for months and months, and were never touched. I ended up trading them off at the used book store for books that my students would enjoy more.

Yes, the classics are there, and they're there for a reason. They've sold millions of copies, have been made into movies, and have been read in the classroom for decades. I believe it's time for many of the classics to be put to rest. Students need to read books that are relevant to the world around them, books they connect to in some way, and books that keep them wanting more. What do you think?